from nizar
Day 3: 15/07/06
2.20 PM
I arrived to the village around an hour ago.
The landscapes on the way here were really pretty, took my mind off the whole situation for a while. We stopped for groceries and it was crazy inside the supermarket. People were buying food as if it was gonna lack for months (maybe it will), they were fighting in front of the cashiers… etc. my mom said it looked exactly like the days of civil war.
No more bread in the super markets, no more milk either… I guess we’re gonna start using powdered milk. *sigh*
Electricity in the village comes for a couple of hours a day only, the TV is on right now… bad news like usual: Israel asked people to evacuate a town in the south so they can bomb it (sounds so ironic), people rode their cars and were driving north thinking “we’ll lose our homes but at least we’ll stay alive”, but no, they bombed their cars on the way out of the town, 20 people died (families, civilians, innocents…) including 9 children… all were burnt alive, burnt to death!!!!!!!! Poor people, I wish they died on the spot, at least they wouldn’t have suffered that much.
It’s unbearable; I am so frustrated. I’m watching the news; people are calling the TV offering their houses for refugees, I have goose bumps, and my grandfather has tears in his eyes.
My uncle just called, he made it to Syria by car (even though the Beirut-Damascus highway has been destroyed, he made it through villages and small but long bumpy roads… he’s on his way to Saudi Arabia, his wife and children are there), we are all so relieved he made it to Syria to the point where my mom actually cried. I asked why she was so scared: Israeli planes bombed Lebanese cars on the Syrian-Lebanese border (30 deceased!!) but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to worry my grandparents.
It’s very obvious, there’s an international plan for destroying Lebanon for reasons that I won’t get into right now, this blog is not political but only narrative.
We called the Canadian embassy; they are not evacuating the Canadian citizens, at least not yet. But the French, British and the Americans are starting to evacuate, so the Canadians will soon (I really hope so). Politicians and analysts are all saying this is gonna be a long war.
I’m really worried now; my chances of coming back to Montreal are decreasing by the minute. The Canadian embassy is pretty much my only chance of getting out of here right now.
Concerning going back to Canada, I’m not sure I wanna leave my family here. I’m not ready to go to Canada and leave everything behind, and worrying to death every second I spend in Montreal. My parents mentioned coming with me, maybe living in Vancouver for a while. That would be great.
I’m proud of being Lebanese, of being an Arab, and I love my country… Yet I can’t but think this every minute: fuck being born in the Middle East. You can’t live one second without knowing that everything is just transient, temporary. You can’t even make plans for the future because you know that nothing is guaranteed in this region of the world, not even staying alive.
6.42 PM
OMG, my dad just came telling me they just bombed the lighthouse. The Beirut lighthouse! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I could see it from my bedroom window in Beirut! I have tons of pictures with it! It’s only 2 minutes away from my building! :’( !!! And they just hit the Beirut, Jounieh and Tripoli sea ports! I’m sure there have been damages to my room… at least the windows broke because of the explosive pressure. FUCK THIS SHIT!!!! What do they want from us?!?! They’re destroying everything! EVERYTHING!!!
In addition to all that, the wheat stores in Beirut harbor were targeted, not only we can’t import wheat for bread, but we don’t even have stocks anymore.
11.49 PM
I played some card games with my cousins and sisters and drove the car around the village (my dad said it would be the last time because we have to economize gas). My tiny little village whose inhabitants I usually know by name is FULL of refugees, people I have never seen before (friends and cousins of my co-villagers), people who left their houses in the south and Beirut suburbs under the Israeli missile showers and ran for their lives.
Right now: Severe DEPRESSION.
It was kind of interesting the first 2 days, the whole situation, scary but a little bit fun, you know? Now I’m sick of it. It’s only day 3 and I can’t take it anymore. I’m really miserable and depressed. I just want to start crying out loud, but I can’t… I don’t want to depress my sisters. They still seem to be taking it ok and I don’t want to ruin it for them. I can see my mom is doing the same thing, she’s really hiding it. It hurts; it really does, seeing your homeland being destroyed because some fucking superpowers controlling the world have ambitions in the area.
I’m so frustrated. Anger and irritation are taking over my sadness. I want to do something about it, I feel so useless. 200 people died and 400 injured already… and it’s only been a little more than 3 days.
They talk about the holocaust? Well here it is, the 21st century’s version of the holocaust, a genocide being done by the “genocided” themselves.
Fuck this shit, I’m going to bed.
Day 4
11.05 AM
I fought with my sister over breakfast.
My dad is going to Beirut to bring the rest of the stuff, we’re gonna stay here for longer than we had planned yesterday. We all made lists of stuff to bring (board games, chargers, favorite foods, clothes, etc…). I wanna go with him. So does my sister. Both parents say it’s too risky to go to Beirut and that only one of us can go help my dad, thus the fight.
So yeah we decided that I would go to Beirut with the Father tomorrow morning to pack my bags for Canada in case they call us from the embassy.
“I’m not going back there (Montreal) without you” I keep saying.
“You go before us; we’ll follow you there if we have to”, they answer.
Unfortunately it’s not that simple, because the Canadian ship (that will take us to Cyprus I think, and from there fly to Canada) might be their last chance of leaving this little Mediterranean sample of Hell.
What a dilemma.
2.23 PM
We had a barbecue, delicious burgers, and over lunch I had this conversation with my sister.
Me: “remember that day, two winters ago when we found a dead mouse in your shoe here?”
Farah: “yeah, poor thing, it freaked me out but it was cute”
Me: “it probably died of hunger”
Farah: “ha ha, do you think this is how we’re gonna end?”
I smiled. But my burger immediately lost its taste.
posted by Ariana @ 12:35 AM
4 Comments:
Quoting Nizar:
“It’s very obvious, there’s an international plan for destroying Lebanon for reasons that I won’t get into right now”
“They talk about the holocaust? Well here it is, the 21st century’s version of the holocaust, a genocide being done by the “genocided”(sic) themselves.”
Quoting Bassil:
“Maybe Israel is using Hezbollah as an excuse to destroy Lebanon all over again. Israel does not want to see a succesful and vibrant lebanon.”
To be clear, these sorts of statements are irresponsible and erroneous. The notion that a modern capitalist liberal democracy prefers unstable neighbors to stable peaceful nations is ludicrous. Modern capitalist societies do not benefit from instability. Instability disrupts trade, weakens investment and severely hinders growth and the improvement of societal wellbeing. By the definition of Israel’s identity it cannot support and does not strive to “destroy Lebanon.” Any benefits Israel may accrue from instability in Lebanon (or which there extremely few if any at all) are greatly surpassed by the benefits Israel, Lebanon and the region would enjoy if peace and stability reigned. This is a simple fact.
Only radical irrational organizations such as Hezbollah and Hamas benefit from instability. Every time stability increases in Lebanon, Hezbollah experiences an Identity crisis. It is no surprise that after both Syria and Israel withdraw from Lebanon, after billions of dollars have been invested to rebuild Beirut, and when foreign investment is increasing that Hezbollah knowingly and with utter disregard for the wellbeing of Lebanese society drags the nation into war.
Quoting Bassil:
“The warnings are complete bullshit as well. Just yesterday, many tried to enter a UN camp for protection and were turned down thus rendering any warning effectively useless.”
Quoting Amer Tamin:
“I’m really worried about my friends in Beirut, since civilians are the main target for israeli war planes."
The fact is that Israel takes care to alert civilians as to when and where bombings may take place and to ensure that they are not the targets. Bassil states that the warnings are “bullshit” as if the U.N. camp is the only place for Lebanese civilians to seek refuge. This assertion clearly does not follow.
Israel has never desired unstable neighbors. Israel has consistently desired nothing but peace, security and prosperity for itself and its neighbors.
"Israel has consistently desired nothing but peace, security and prosperity for itself and its neighbors"
if that was true, they wouldnt have come here and stolen the land from the palestinians and killed hundreds of thousands and used illegal internationally forbidden weapons. cheers
Dear "Me,"
As long as that sort of mentality exists there will never be peace. The perpetuation of those sorts of mistruths and historical distortions can only hinder the creation of a foundation upon which all parties can build a lasting and succesful partnership. Fortunately I am confident that once you have carefully studied the history of Palestine you will change your mind. Might I suggest "The Land System in Palestine: History and Structure" by Abraham Granott as well as "Whose Land? A History of the peoples of Palestine" by James Parkes. Good Luck.
You are quire delusional my friend, If Israel thought stable neighbors would have made for a better enviornment for their capitalist "Liberal Democracy" (Its more of an Oligarchy) then they would not be bombing Lebanon now destroying the infrastructure and economy of a neighbor with the potential of being a democratic and strong neighbor. To put in simple words "Israel does not give a fuck." They say they care for Lebanon and want to see it strong but then bomb the shit out of it. The say they want civillians to evacuate the south but bomb the roads and bridges that serve as their way out. They tell them that they well be bombing the south and end up bombing Achrafieh and Tripoli.
As for Hezbollah... last I checked it was Israel bombing the shite out of the LEbanese civillian population not Hezbollah. Israel is destroying Lebanon's infrastructure not Hezbollah. In fact the only thing that Hezbollah has done is fight back which the vast majority of the Lebanese population support. Is Hezbollah irrational? Not as irrational as Israel, it seems they have forgotten the lesson of 20 years ago they are invading Lebanon by ground force and they will be defeated and sent back home once again.
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